okay pat passed out under dana's car
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize