She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize