I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
