I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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