Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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