Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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