thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize