...so i touched it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
