at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
