Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
