I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
