This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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