How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
