why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Drunk is a universal language darling
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