I can text with my tongue
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
