come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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