are you still at the devil's house?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
