This girl is more easily done than said...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
