i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize