I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
third nipple confirmed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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