If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
