Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
