So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
