You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
