My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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