dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
