It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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