Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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