Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize