Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
