he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We named our party play list daddy issues
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
In America we eat man semen.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
