Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
