Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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