I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
