Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
