Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
