Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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