I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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