i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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