the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
3pm strippers are depressing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
