as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
