Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
