Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im holly from the hills drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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