Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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