i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
