Ambien. No doubt about it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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