woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
