I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Pooping to opera.
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