I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
