Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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