At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
