I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
