i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
