Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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