I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
