I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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