I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
