Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so much tequila, so little girl.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
