At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
