Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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