Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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