she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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