He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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