We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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