I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
