i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
