Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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