Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
