I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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