You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
