Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
