Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
