dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
