Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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