He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
